Elon Musk’s DOGE Cuts Backfire: SpaceX Rescues Only One Astronaut, Leaving the Other Stranded

In a dramatic turn of events, Elon Musk’s SpaceX successfully docked a rescue rocket at the International Space Station (ISS) today—but there’s a catch. Due to budget cuts linked to DOGE, Musk’s beloved meme-based cryptocurrency, the mission was only able to bring one of the two stranded astronauts back to Earth, leaving the other behind in orbit.

This bizarre outcome has sparked confusion, laughter, and concern, with many wondering: Did Musk’s love for Dogecoin just cost an astronaut their ticket home?

The emergency mission was launched after a malfunction aboard the ISS left two astronauts stranded, unable to return on their scheduled spacecraft. With NASA calling for urgent intervention, SpaceX deployed a rocket to retrieve them—but in a twist that no one saw coming, only one seat was available when the capsule arrived.

Sources close to the operation claim that Dogecoin-related budget cuts forced SpaceX to reduce costs on the mission, eliminating an extra seat to save on fuel, weight, and (presumably) Musk’s expenses for his next X (formerly Twitter) rebrand attempt.

Faced with only one available return spot, the two astronauts reportedly had to make an agonizing decision—or as some SpaceX insiders jokingly called it, “Interstellar Survivor: SpaceX Edition.”

The astronauts were left to decide who gets to return home and who stays in orbit, sparking a high-stakes, low-gravity dilemma. In a final act of NASA-level professionalism (or rock-paper-scissors in zero gravity?), one astronaut secured the seat, while the other was left to await another potential rescue mission.

While Musk has always been known for his bold financial moves, few expected his cryptocurrency enthusiasm to directly impact space travel. But with DOGE cuts reportedly affecting SpaceX’s budget, the joke is now orbiting Earth—literally.

Social media erupted with reactions:

• “Elon spent more on memes than on a second astronaut seat?”
• “Can they pay for a ticket back home in Dogecoin?”
• “First class for one, economy class for none!”

Meanwhile, the remaining astronaut’s situation remains uncertain. With Musk hinting at potential future missions to bring them back, many are wondering whether the next flight will depend on DOGE’s market value or a well-timed Tesla stock rebound.

NASA officials, while relieved that one astronaut made it back safely, are reportedly “deeply confused” by the decision to only send a one-seat rescue capsule. SpaceX, on the other hand, has issued a lighthearted statement, saying:

“Space travel is expensive. SpaceX remains committed to innovation, even if that means occasional… creative seating arrangements.”

When pressed for comment, Musk took to X (formerly Twitter), cryptically posting:
“If only DOGE had mooned. Maybe next time. 🚀”

For now, the astronaut left behind will have to wait for another rescue attempt—or, as some on the internet suggest, apply for Martian citizenship and start a new life on the Red Planet.

Whether Musk will fund a second mission or leave it to NASA to clean up the mess remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: Space travel just got its weirdest budget cut yet.